Bleach: And Then There Were Three
by YenGirl
Summary: In which Yoruichi finally takes matters into her own hands when it concerns a certain shopkeeper and his assistant.
1. Chapter 1

**Author Notes:** Hello again, everyone! Kisuke and Yoruichi are one of my favourite ships in Bleach. I've wanted to write a story for them for some time, but not just the two of them. Enjoy :)

 **Warnings:** Fluff and OOCness because my muse refused to let me write them as matured adults :p

 **Rating:** T

 **Disclaimer:** Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo.

\- Story Start -

In the early hours of the morning, Urahara's _shoten_ was dark and quiet. There was a slight shimmer in the air just across the road and a pair of _Senkaimon_ materialised, opening to let out copious puffs of white smoke, a black Hell butterfly, and a black cat with golden eyes.

Yoruichi's eyes and whiskers drooped with exhaustion. Thanks to Kurosaki and his harebrained scheme to storm Soul Society to rescue Rukia Kuchiki, she had to go back to make sure all the loose ends were tied up. Kukaku and Ganju were gleefully open about making their involvement known, but Yoruichi preferred that Kisuke and Tessai weren't implicated as much as possible.

Her Seireitei and Rukongai contacts had assured her of that, much to her relief. She was finally home; tired, hungry, and looking forward to a bowl of milk, a grilled fish, a hot bath and a nice long sleep.

In that order, with some TLC from Kisuke thrown into the mix.

Yoruichi's ears drooped further as she padded across the road. She would trade the tender in TLC for passion in a heartbeat, but genius scientist and skilled _onmitsukido_ operative aside, Kisuke Urahara was one heck of a clueless _Shinigami_.

Exiled Captain.

Shop owner.

Whatever.

Regardless, he and Tessai still owed her a big thank you and Yoruichi intended to point that out tonight. Jumping onto the bathroom window ledge, she squirmed inside, leaped onto the tiled floor and exited the bathroom. She sauntered down the corridor only to realise from the dark and silence that it was probably very late at night. Or very early in the morning.

Oh well, too bad for Kisuke then. She made her way to his room and slid open the _shoji_ door with a paw before stepping inside, absently sliding it shut with her tail.

There he was, that annoying, fascinating, irritating, _adorable_ man, clad in nothing but a pair of loose sleeping trousers, sprawled on his back with one arm flung over his eyes.

Kisuke had something against sleeping in the dark and Yoruichi was grateful for the shaded lamp he kept switched on in a corner of the room. Her eyes gleamed, tail twitching as she eyed that lean muscled chest with its interesting dips and planes; _such_ a tempting target. She cast a quick barrier around the room, took two running steps forward and then she leaped.

\- o -

Tessai awoke with a start, alert but not alarmed. He had been awakened by... someone, but the _kido_ barrier around the shoten which he refreshed every night hadn't been disturbed. It could only mean their visitor was both known and trusted, one whose reiatsu signature had already been keyed into the barrier by Tessai himself.

Reaching out with his senses, he relaxed and nodded to himself. It was Yoruichi. He squinted at the clock beside his futon. Five in the morning. An hour and a half before his usual wake up time, but he might as well brew some tea before going back to sleep. There was a new carton of milk in the fridge and some strawberry _mochi_ if she was hungry.

Tessai stood up, slid his feet into his slippers and left his room. The living room was empty so he continued onto the kitchen and set a small pot of water on the stove, switching it on with a practiced flick of his wrist. While he waited for the water to boil, he measured out the tea leaves and absently reached out with his senses again, tracing Yoruichi's reiatsu to Urahara's room.

The fact that she had arrived here so early and gone straight there filled Tessai with a sense of foreboding. For the past one hundred years, the three of them had managed to stay below the Gotei 13's radar. He hoped there weren't any repercussions from Kuchiki's rescue either for themselves or for the group of Karakura teens they had befriended.

\- o -

Kisuke awoke the instant he heard his room door slide open. He stayed perfectly still since he knew who his uninvited guest was.

Uninvited, but not unwelcome.

Never that.

He kept his breathing deep and regular as a simple barrier formed in the room. His senses tracked the almost silent paws on the tatami mats, inwardly smirking at what he knew was coming next.

When a slight weight landed on his stomach, he still didn't move but counted to five until he was sure her anticipatory grin had turned into a frown of puzzlement. _Then_ he lowered the arm over his eyes... only for the teasing words to die on his tongue and his eyes to go round in shock.

Yoruichi may have entered his room as a cat, but she had changed mid-leap because it was her gorgeous and completely naked human self who sat atop him now, one smooth buttock resting on his stomach and the rest of her weight evenly distributed between her four limbs. She was leaning back with arms straightened and legs bent, hands and feet flat on the tatami mats on either side of his futon.

Stunned, Kisuke stared at her face before his gaze dropped, pulled by the lure of her long neck, gorgeous breasts, flat stomach and - he raised his head up off his pillow - what lay between those nonchalantly spread thighs.

"Yoruichi-san!" he squawked, bolting upright and displacing her in a tumble of long hair, flailing limbs and surprised squeal. "Have you no shame, woman?!"

Yoruichi burst out laughing as she sat up and shook her hair back, golden eyes twinkling.

" _Mou,_ you've seen me naked before, Kisuke."

"Not in such detail!"

"What a prude. We're friends, aren't we?" she said with a shrug. "Childhood friends at that."

Kisuke ran a hand down his face and glared at her, feeling the heat pulse in his face.

"Childhood friends don't go around showing everything they have!"

Yoruichi raised an eyebrow.

"Oh? I seem to recall two young boys showing me their little _packages_ after one of our sparring lessons...?"

Kisuke sputtered, blushing even hotter.

"Tessai and I were eight! We didn't know any better then!"

Yoruichi's laughter was low and far too amused as she crawled towards him, all predatory grace and gleaming eyes.

"And you do now?" she asked. "So why is your face so red? Surely the great Kisuke Urahara has had his fill of beautiful women here in the Living World?"

Kisuke scooted backward until he was off his futon completely, back thumping against the wall behind him.

"I'm not going to dignify that with an answer."

Yoruichi blinked.

"So... that means no?" she asked. "What have you been doing all this time?"

"I've been busy."

"I mean after you'd helped those Visored. What have you been doing since then?"

Kisuke swallowed.

"There was never any, uh, opportunity," he mumbled.

Yoruichi's eyebrows shot up before she gestured at the window.

"You live in a town full of people!"

Kisuke hunched one shoulder. He could feel her drawing closer and his normally clever mind scrabbled around for a change in subject.

"You must be hungry. Ah, I do believe Tessai-san went shopping this morning. He bought-"

Then she was right in front of him, kneeling between his legs. He sucked in a startled breath which was a mistake because her alluring scent was suddenly all he could smell and think about.

What Tessai bought this morning went unspoken. Forgotten.

A slender finger reached out to tip his chin up, forcing him to meet thoughtful golden eyes.

"Were you waiting for me, Kisuke?" Yoruichi asked gently. "All this time?"

He stared at her, knowing his answer was displayed on his face, and frankly, not caring anymore.

"You are such an _idiot_ ," she breathed before closing the gap between them.

\- o -

Tessai surveyed the tray he had prepared - warmed teapot filled with freshly brewed tea, stack of clean teacups, bowl of milk, plate of mochi and two pairs of chopsticks. He nodded in satisfaction, picked up the tray and headed for the living room. After setting it down on the low table, he went to Urahara's room.

Tessai had been the Captain of the Kido Corp before his exile. His expertise enabled him to sense the flow of reiatsu in a person's body so clearly, he could visualise the outline of their body even through walls, much less a flimsy shoji door just two feet away. He focused on the two signatures inside the room, trying to determine - without actually eavesdropping - whether the discussion was at a point where he could interrupt them.

Then he froze.

Urahara and Yoruichi didn't seem to be discussing anything, not with their lips locked together like that. Tessai's mouth went dry. He noted that a barrier had been erected inside the room, but it was simple enough that his keen hearing still caught the wet sounds of passionate kissing.

With a sharp inhale, he retracted his senses and bowed his head, large hands tightly fisted by his sides. They were closer than he had thought, much closer than _he_ was to either one of them. But he was glad, he told himself fiercely. Yes, he _was_. Urahara and Yoruichi were his two best friends ever since childhood. They hadn't interacted much once they grew up, what with him entering the Kido Corp and Urahara the Omnitsuki which Yoruichi headed.

But then _that_ incident happened. Tessai and Urahara had gotten involved, Yoruichi had intervened, and all three of them had had to flee Soul Society. Urahara and Tessai had stayed in the Living World while Yoruichi roamed Kami knew where, dropping by now and again.

Tessai had been content to stay by Urahara's side; cooking, helping out with the shop and later on, taking care of Jinta and Ururu.

After a hundred years, he was more devoted to Urahara than before. In fact, he had even started to entertain a slender hope that his feelings were returned, based on warm grey eyes and fond smiles-

No.

It was stupid. So, so _stupid_ to even imagine anything like that could happen while Yoruichi Shihouin existed. She was everything Tessai wasn't, and he didn't just mean their gender. She was extremely beautiful, extraordinarily skilled, generous, loyal and fun loving. A noble princess who thought nothing of befriending two boys not of noble blood, who hadn't hesitated to save both of them from an unjust imprisonment, even though it meant throwing away her career and her comfortable life in Seireitei.

Tessai had long since regarded her as their saviour and goddess, an opinion he knew Urahara shared. He was eternally grateful to her, he would lay down his life for her. For both of them.

So the very least he could do now... was leave them be.

Taking another deep breath, he turned on his heel and walked back down the corridor, back ramrod straight, hands still clenched by his sides. He would get another hour of sleep - or try to - before going to rouse Jinta and Ururu at their usual time.

When a single tear ran down his cheek, he wiped it away. He was just happy to discover that the two people he loved most in the world loved each other.

Another tear ran down his other cheek and was wiped away as well.

Yes, he was happy.

\- o -

When they finally pulled apart, Kisuke didn't look away, but stared at Yoruichi, eyes wide, lips parted and looking, on the whole, flatteringly awestruck.

Yoruichi grinned at him while mentally berating herself for not doing this earlier. Like a hundred years earlier or even before. She was never one to care much about protocol after all.

"Should've done this sooner, huh," she couldn't resist saying smugly.

"Yes," Kisuke said, still staring at her.

"After all, we both know it would be another hundred years if I waited for you," she purred.

"Yes," Kisuke said again. Then he chuckled and leaned forward, resting his forehead against hers.

"So glad you didn't," he said and slid a hand to the back of her neck, his fingers warm against her skin as he kissed her this time.

Yoruichi responded to the kiss, eyes half lidded to hide a sudden twinkle. She waited until he pulled back before she spoke.

"Think the others heard us?"

Kisuke froze at once, eyes snapping open in shock. Yoruichi chuckled, she couldn't help it.

"Relax, I'm sure you felt the barrier I put up earlier. Granted, it's nothing like Tessai's or yours, but it should be..."

She trailed off, eyes narrowing at the fleeting expressions on Kisuke's face - worry and guilt instead of mere embarrassment. Not for the first time was she glad that while he wore his playful, silly mask to fool everyone, he never did so in front of her or Tessai.

Ah.

Yoruichi shifted to sit cross legged, propping her cheek on one fist with her elbow on her knee.

"So. Tessai?" she guessed.

Kisuke hesitated before nodding, his eyes sliding down to her breasts again. He jerked his gaze away after a moment, his guilty expression making Yoruichi want to either smack him or hug him. Maybe both, she thought as he bowed his head. _Definitely_ both if they were already lovers without telling her.

"Have you two-" she demanded, but Kisuke quickly shook his head.

"No," he said, his voice low. "We... never even talked about it."

He glanced at her - when was the last time he had looked so uncertain, so guilty? - before looking away again.

"But... there's something between us. After staying together all this while, relying on each other, building a home with Jinta-kun and Ururu-chan. We just never..."

He trailed off and tipped his head back, staring at the ceiling, frowning as if searching for the right words to use.

"Because you two idiots were waiting for me," Yoruichi finished in a matter of fact voice. It was the only reason she could think of, the only reason she would accept.

Kisuke's startled look only confirmed her suspicions, or maybe it was the dawning of hope and wonder in his eyes. Something bloomed inside her chest, something deep and sweet, something that told her things could get even better than they already were.

When she smiled, Kisuke ducked his head, a relieved smile quirking his lips as he peeped at her through his messy bangs.

"Well, you know the trouble we end up in whenever we try to do something without you," he said.

That rueful tone, that humble pose contrasting with those mischievous eyes undid Yoruichi completely. She started laughing again, not stopping even when Kisuke straightened up in alarm, eyes darting to the door.

"Hush," he begged. "You'll wake everyone up."

Yoruichi tried to rein in her amusement.

"Barrier, remember?" she said and took a deep breath before reaching for his hand.

"Shall we include Tessai then?"

Kisuke swallowed as his fingers tightened almost painfully around hers, his nervous smile making her heart turn over in her chest.

"Are you sure? What if... what if he doesn't...?"

When Yoruichi raised an eyebrow, Kisuke had the grace to look abashed.

"He'll agree," she said confidently. "After all, you two have always been mine."

It was true, she realised. Yes, there _was_ a small part of her that had suggested this to appease Kisuke, but after saying those words out loud... it was true.

"You really mean that?"

Yoruichi nodded, wondering why the hell hadn't they come together long before now. Kisuke's grin was bright and brilliant as was the smacking kiss he gave her. Yoruichi wrapped her arms around his neck and rose onto her knees, pressing close to him and making him groan.

Too bad it was almost dawn. The others would wake soon.

Tomorrow night then, she decided. Waiting would be a pain, but it would be worth it. Tessai would just need to put up the strongest sound blocking barrier he was capable of.

No sense in scarring Jinta and Ururu for life!

\- Story End -

 **A/N:** Thanks for reading! Please leave a review if you enjoyed it... and want to read more :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Author Notes:** Hello again, everyone! I'm not sure how long this story will be, but here's the 2nd chapter. Enjoy :)

\- Chapter Start -

In the early evening, a pair of Senkaimon materialised opposite Urahara's shoten, opening to let out copious puffs of white smoke, a black Hell butterfly, and a black cat with golden eyes.

Yoruichi strolled out, a very different figure from last night's exhausted kitty. There was a spring in her step, her ears were perked, and her fur lustrous and smooth.

After breakfast, she had gone back to her family home in the Seireitei and spent the whole day pampering herself. She had enjoyed a good long nap, a hearty lunch, a bath and a soak in the onsen, and then a full body massage.

Smirking to herself, she padded across the road, wondering if Kisuke and Tessai were as ready as she was. The shop door was ajar so she squirmed inside, nose twitching. Tessai was cooking what smelled like an absolutely delicious seafood dinner.

Just as she had expected - Tessai wasn't only agreeable to a threesome, he also knew the way to her heart!

Yoruichi's smirk widened as she made her way to the dining area. Tessai was just setting his big stock pot on a stand beside the small round table where they had their meals. He saw her and bowed his head.

"Good evening, Yoruichi-dono," he greeted in his low voice. "Dinner will be ready soon - udon in seafood broth and home made pickles."

He went back to the kitchen without waiting for her reply, leaving Yoruichi to frown to herself.

Or maybe not.

Or maybe Kisuke hadn't said a word to Tessai despite her meaningful look this morning.

That coward!

\- o -

Today was the worst day of Tessai's life, barring that fateful day he had been captured and sentenced to imprisonment for using a high level, forbidden spell. At least he had known what he was guilty of then.

He didn't know what he was guilty of _now_ , unless it was falling for the wrong person.

After his accidental discovery this morning, he had spent the next hour lying on his futon and staring at the ceiling, visualising the centuries ahead of him where he would be a silent, suffering witness to Kisuke and Yoruichi's happiness, under the guise of supportive, loyal friend.

But the alternative - moving out to live by himself - was unthinkable. He would survive, of course. He had stayed in the Living World more than long enough to blend in. He had the skills to earn a decent living and could even draw on his kido expertise if needed. But he didn't want to leave this shoten and its inhabitants whom he had grown so fond of. He screwed his eyes shut and ignored the slow leak of moisture onto his pillow.

By the time he got up to prepare breakfast, his eyelids were puffy and his eyes bloodshot. A simple kido spell tinted the lens of his glasses; not dark enough to impair his sight, but enough to hide behind.

When Kisuke asked him about it, Tessai just said his eyes were feeling sensitive to light today. Yoruichi kept quiet, but her speculative look left Tessai uneasy. He had removed the tray from the living room before starting breakfast so she couldn't have known he had found out about them, couldn't have guessed at his feelings for Urahara.

It must be his imagination, just like how he had imagined all those times Urahara looked at him with something more than friendship in his gaze.

Yoruichi left after breakfast with a promise to be back for dinner. The heavy look she gave a tense looking Urahara made Tessai's heart clench. When Urahara turned to him, Tessai decided he didn't want to hear whatever it was the other man had to say.

"If you do not require my assistance today, Urahara-dono, I shall reorganise the storeroom," he announced. "It is a mess."

Everyone looked surprised and Jinta's face adopted a scowl.

"Eh? Didn't we clear it out last month?" Urahara asked. "Besides..." he trailed off and gave Yoruichi a side glance.

"It is a mess," Tessai insisted.

"J-Jinta-kun and I will help," Ururu offered and promptly got a sharp nudge from the redhead for her pains.

"I will too," Urahara decided. "There's nothing urgent at the-"

"I will handle it myself," Tessai declared. "Jinta-dono and Ururu-dono, please attend to your chores. For lunch, use up last night's leftovers to prepare fried rice, the way I have taught you. I will cook dinner."

They chorused their agreement, Jinta looking happier than before.

\- o -

Today was the most nerve wracking day of Kisuke's life, barring the day he had been made Captain of the Twelfth Squad. He stayed in his lab, but didn't do much except clutch handfuls of his hair and worry himself sick.

Trust Yoruichi to foist the job of telling Tessai on him. He had expected _her_ to be the one to tell him. There was a reason why Kisuke hadn't gone out to look for company - male or female - all this while; he was extremely shy. Oh, he could put up a damned good front when he needed to, donning that jovial, playful personality like a well fitting _gigai_ , but when it came to forming relationships or even friendships, he found it downright daunting.

Scary, even.

He supposed he and Tessai were the same on the inside. They had known each other for so long. They had played together and worked together and lived together. They trusted each other with their lives. They just... didn't know how to show they cared.

Yoruichi, of course, had no such qualms which was why the three of them became friends in the first place.

Kisuke groaned, forehead thumping onto the papers on his table. He imagined confessing to Tessai and seeing those magnificent eyebrows shoot up before coming back down in a forbidding frown. He imagined Tessai solemnly thanking him and assuring him that his taste ran to females instead of super intelligent but socially awkward ex-Captains. He imagined Tessai disclosing that he was already in a happy, long term relationship with someone from Karakura Town and Kisuke simply... hadn't noticed.

Kisuke screwed his eyes shut, feeling a pang in his chest. There was no help for it though; he still had to ask.

At noon, he made sure that Jinta and Ururu were busy in the kitchen before making his way to the storeroom, finding the irony of sneaking around in his own home both depressing and pathetic. He stopped at the doorway, admiring Tessai's bulging arms and trim behind as the man lifted a big box off the floor.

"Tessai-san?"

The box thumped loudly on the shelf, followed by an ominous tinkling sound from within. Then Tessai turned around, a drop of sweat running down his cheek.

"Urahara-dono."

Kisuke licked his dry lips. Tessai didn't look pleased to see him let alone talk to him. His stern - well, sterner than usual - visage left Kisuke's tongue glued to the roof of his mouth. If the thought of confessing his feelings made his stomach squirm with nerves, then the thought of telling Tessai Yoruichi's suggestion was enough to make him feel faint.

" _Ano..._ " Ururu suddenly materialised beside him, making him jump. She apologised for interrupting them before asking Tessai how small the onions should be chopped.

Mumbling an excuse, Kisuke fled back to the safety of his lab. When he next ventured out, it was three in the afternoon and all that awaited him were a few spoonfuls of fried rice and half a bowl of miso soup, both equally cold.

Slumping down beside the table, Kisuke eyed his scanty lunch and uttered a despondent sigh. It looked like he had simply imagined all those times Tessai looked at him with something more than friendship in his gaze.

\- o -

Dinner was much better - Tessai's seafood broth was rich and flavourful, full of prawns, mussels and fish. Jinta and Ururu were excited about the Don Kannoji special that would air on TV in an hour's time. Kisuke and Tessai were silent and just picked at their food.

Yoruichi would have enjoyed her dinner a lot more if it weren't for the uneasy and miserable vibes coming from both of them, flattening her ears. As soon as Tessai disappeared into the kitchen to get more udon, she jabbed Kisuke in the ribs with one extended claw. When he winced and turned to her, she stared at him.

"Didn't you tell him?" she hissed in a whisper.

Kisuke flushed, eyes darting to the kitchen and back again.

"I tried. He avoided me the whole day," he whispered back.

Yoruichi rolled her eyes, half exasperated, half amused and wholly unsurprised.

"You two are hopeless," she grumbled as Tessai returned.

"Which two do you mean?" Jinta demanded, having caught her words.

"You and Ururu, of course," Yoruichi replied without batting an eye, drawing vocal protests from him and softer ones from Ururu.

\- o -

After dinner, Tessai stood at the kitchen sink, arms deep in warm sudsy water. He usually supervised Jinta and Ururu to wash up, but the last thing he wanted was company tonight.

"There you are, Tessai-san!"

Tessai looked over his shoulder at Urahara in the kitchen doorway, wearing a suspiciously bright smile.

"Was there something you wanted, Urahara-dono?" he asked.

"The Don Kannoji show is just starting! Let Jinta-kun and Ururu-chan take care of the dishes later."

Tessai shook his head and turned back to the sink.

"It's fine. I'm not in the mood for TV tonight."

"Oh? Are you not well?"

"My... eyes are still tired. I will turn in early after having my bath."

Oh, he was _horrible_ at lying. He could feel Urahara's puzzlement before the unmistakable snap of his fan sounded.

"Ah. In that case, please get out the extra futon and put it beside mine before you retire."

Tessai swung around, grip tightening on the plate in his hand.

"I-I beg your pardon, Urahara-dono?"

Urahara just repeated his request, using the exact same words with that same wide smile.

"Why?" The word slipped out before Tessai could stop himself. He _never_ questioned Urahara's decisions. But his mouth was apparently not listening to him tonight.

Urahara's fan covered the lower part of his face.

"Because Yoruichi-san is staying the night," he replied with an air of surprise as if she always slept with him... when she had always occupied the guest room if she stayed over.

Tessai nodded and fought to speak in his usual tone.

"Very well. I will get Jinta-dono to-"

"No." Urahara snapped his fan shut, no longer smiling. "Please attend to it yourself, Tessai-san. After your bath, of course."

Tessai clenched his jaw, fighting a rare urge to say 'Do it yourself!' He inclined his head.

"Very well."

"Thank you!" Urahara chirped and darted off from the doorway.

Tessai stared down at the squeaky clean plate in his hand, fighting another urge, this time to fling it at the nearest wall. He had read that the Greeks used to do that at celebrations... to show they were happy.

And he was happy. Yes, he was.

\- o -

After his bath, Tessai brought the spare futon over to Urahara's room. He rolled it out, smoothing the soft cotton sheet and trying not to imagine what would happen on it later tonight.

Or in a few minutes, he realised as the shoji door slid open. Getting up, he turned as Urahara and Yoruichi entered the room, the former's blond hair still damp from his bath.

"All done, Urahara-dono, Yoruichi-dono," he said.

"Thank you, Tessai," Yoruichi said, smiling. "Please cast a strong sound blocking barrier inside this room."

Tessai stared at her, his imagination providing new images to go with her words.

"Of course, Yoruichi-dono," he said, his voice sounding hoarse to his ears.

Yoruichi's golden eyes twinkled.

"Aren't you going to ask me why?" she asked, sounding almost coy.

Tessai shook his head.

"It's none of my business."

When Urahara frowned and took a step forward, Tessai quickly clapped his hands together and began chanting. As soon as the barrier was up and the bright light faded, he lowered his hands.

"The barrier is complete," he announced unnecessarily. "I can remove it tomorrow. Goodnight."

" _Maa maa_ , just a minute, Tessai-san," Urahara said with a smile that looked strangely nervous.

"We have something to tell you," Yoruichi added.

Tessai looked from one to the other. They wanted to tell him a secret, he realised.

Were they engaged?

Was Yoruichi going to live here from now on?

"Tomorrow," he said, not caring if he sounded rude or desperate. "Goodnight."

"No. Don't go." Urahara took a step closer, a hint of desperation showing on his face.

"Stay here with us," Yoruichi said.

Tessai blinked at them.

Wait. Did they... did they intend for him to _watch?_

Yes, they were childhood friends, best friends even, but surely they couldn't be that cruel?

"We want... that is to say, would you-" Urahara broke off, grunting in frustration as if words failed him. He reached out to grab Tessai's hand instead.

Tessai's mouth fell open in utter shock as Yoruichi did the same to his other hand, slender fingers closing around his much larger ones.

"You overheard us this morning, didn't you?" she asked, her tone gentle.

Tessai swallowed, feeling heat creep up his neck.

"I didn't eavesdrop, Yoruichi-dono," he protested. "I swear I didn't."

"I didn't say you did," she replied. "Let me guess - you heard me come in and got up to make tea?"

Tessai nodded.

"And found out I was in here?"

Tessai nodded again.

"It's none of my business-" he began.

"No." Urahara interrupted him, grey eyes now clear and focused. "We want it to be your business, Tessai-san."

Tessai stared at him, distracted by two thumbs stroking the backs of his hands. He had never considered himself particularly slow, but his brain seemed to have stopped working altogether. In contrast, his heart was pounding so fast he felt lightheaded.

"Are you saying that I... that you..." he trailed off, unable to voice the rest of his words, unable to even believe he could imagine such a thing.

"We want you to join us," Yoruichi said it for him, having no such hesitation.

" _Kami_ ," Tessai breathed, his voice shaking, feeling even more lightheaded. "Why? I thought you two..."

"Because we three belong together," Yoruichi said simply.

Tessai's eyes went to the two futon and back to her.

"The three of us? Together?" he repeated.

"Together," Urahara echoed, his cheeks turning pink despite his steady gaze.

"Oh." Tessai swallowed again. He was trembling, at a complete loss for words, torn between wanting to give a whoop of sheer joy or just have a complete mental breakdown.

"Honestly!" Yoruichi exclaimed, rolling her eyes. "I should've started this _decades_ ago, seeing as how _slow_ you two boys are."

Urahara chuckled sheepishly, his free hand going to rub the back of his head. Tessai's grip tightened on both their hands.

"Together," he repeated, still unable to fully process what that word meant.

Yoruichi reached up to press a kiss to his cheek.

"Will you join us?" she asked gently.

Urahara kissed his other cheek.

"Please say yes, Tessai-san."

Tessai blinked rapidly and nodded. He still wasn't quite sure what would happen if he said yes - other than his mind exploding - but saying no was out of the question. Again, his eyes went to the two futon on the floor.

"There are only two futon," he said. The stupidest remark of his life, he realised when they chuckled.

"Oh, I think we can cuddle up close enough to make it work," Yoruichi said playfully.

"I'll try not to take up too much room," Urahara promised in the same tone.

Tessai stared at his smiling face and then at Yoruichi's. Then Urahara tugged at his arm and a hand curled around his neck, pulling him close.

Urahara's lips were soft and warm. When he pulled back, Tessai could only stare at his grey eyes, filled with shy promises. Another hand tugged at his shoulder and he turned to find a female body pressing close to him, soft curves like a shock to his senses. Another pair of lips, equally soft and warm, captured his. When Yoruichi pulled back, Tessai could only stare at her golden eyes, filled with impish promises.

Unable to say anything, mind reeling, Tessai allowed his two best friends to lead him to the two futon, all three of them sinking down together.

If he was dreaming then he never, _ever_ wanted to wake up.

\- Chapter End -

 **A/N:** Thank you for reading! Please leave a review if you enjoyed it :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Author Notes:** Hello again, everyone! Here's the third and final chapter of this story. It's been some time since I last wrote a het M rated scene, let alone a threesome so thank you for your patience! Enjoy :)

\- Chapter Start -

It was the best night of Yoruichi, Kisuke and Tessai's lives. Yoruichi, in particular, felt like the cat who had gotten the cream _and_ the canary.

After all, how many females could boast of being the subject of wholehearted adoration and attention by not one lover, but two?

Kisuke and Tessai's kisses were admittedly untried, but their earnest attempts and shy smiles held a charm all their own. Besides, Yoruichi knew they would both become confident and experienced lovers soon enough, so she resolved to just enjoy tonight. She also decided it was easier if they just adored _her_ first since they might not know how to proceed with each other.

They had lived together for a century without anything happening, for Kami's sake!

Accordingly, she exchanged several open mouthed kisses with each man in turn, arching her neck in silent invitation to explore her smooth skin, jaw, throat and ears, sensitive even in human form. She made sure to give as good as she got, one hand caressing a smooth shaven chin and luxuriant moustache, and the other a stubbled chin and smiling lips. Then she progressed to touching broad shoulders and muscled arms, fingers dipping inside bathrobes and delighting in warm skin and toned chests.

After a while, she took it a step further, loosening the sash of her short yukata and letting the silk garment slide off her shoulders to pool at her elbows and waist. As expected, both men immediately froze, their attention now riveted to her exposed breasts. Tessai, not having seen her unclothed since they were children, made a startled sound, pink cheeks flushing a deep pink as he stared avidly at her.

"Don't be shy, boys," Yoruichi purred, taking hold of both their hands and guiding them to her chest. "You may each have one to - ooh!"

To her surprise, Kisuke gave her right nipple a tiny pinch, and Tessai gave her left one a little flick; both at the same time. Then they started exploring her generous breasts with single minded curiosity and attention - cupping them, caressing the smooth skin with calloused fingertips, and rolling the puckered nipples.

Smiling, Yoruichi leaned back, supporting her weight on her elbows. She tipped her head back, eyes sliding shut just before two heads lowered to her chest; one blond, one dark. Then warm lips closed around each nipple and _tugged._

"Ahh!" Yoruichi's head snapped forward and she stared down at the heads of the two men adoring her, her mouth an 'o' of surprise.

Wait.

Weren't these two supposed to be untried?

Innocent?

 _Inexperienced?_

They were expertly seducing her without being taught; suckling on her sensitive nipples, laving them with their tongues and nibbling on them with their teeth.

Yoruichi's breathing turned shallow as familiar curls of tingly pleasure travelled along her veins and imploded in her tummy, making her muscles quiver in anticipation. With a moan, she collapsed onto the futon, her arms unable to hold her weight. Instead, she speared trembling fingers through their hair, tightening her grip at a particularly sharp nip from Tessai, his moustache tickling her sensitive skin.

Kisuke raised his head and smiled down at her, grey eyes filled with newfound knowledge, lips pink with the effort of gaining them.

Tessai raised his head as well, glasses fogged and a little crooked on his nose, looking equally elated and guilty.

Yoruichi felt her heart turn over in her chest.

"Oh, boys," she crooned. "Don't stop now."

They grinned at her and at each other, and then they swooped down in unison, lips parting.

Yoruichi gave a little panting scream as their mouths found their targets. Her back arched and she gripped their hair, her hips wriggling madly on the futon. She should have known their learning curve was accelerated!

In fact, she was already slick between her thighs... and they hadn't even touched her anywhere else!

Eyes closing again, she didn't see the sly hand moving to her side, a thumb and forefinger closing over one end of her sash and gently pulling it free. When her yukata fell open, baring her completely, that same hand slid over her flat stomach and headed downwards. It cupped the soft mound between her thighs, thumb at the top of her curls and fingertips barely grazing her wet folds.

Yoruichi's eyes snapped open as her right nipple was released with a wet, succulent sounding 'pop'. Kisuke was looking down at her with bright eyes, his hand utterly still between her quivering thighs.

Watching.

Waiting.

Wanting.

Exhaling softly, Yoruichi smiled and canted up her hips in silent invitation. Kisuke's lips twitched in reply before trembling fingertips began tracing the outline of her nether lips, moving from top to bottom and then up again, circling a few times until - almost by accident - grazing the dainty bud at the top.

Yoruichi inhaled sharply, hips jerking in reaction. Kisuke's smile widened and he looked down to see what his fingers had encountered.

Tessai released her other nipple and raised his head, eager to watch this new development. Seeing his flushed cheeks, Yoruichi smiled at him.

"Feel free to explore, Tessai," she invited and let her knees fall open, chuckling as his eyes widened in shock behind his glasses.

"Yoruichi-dono!"

\- o -

The next few minutes passed in a blur of sensual delight for all three of them. Kisuke and Tessai were quick learners, being familiar with the female anatomy in theory, if not in practice. They took their cues from Yoruichi's sighs and moans, from the jerking and thrusting motion of her hips, and from the way her fingers tightened on their hair when they decided that tongues were better than fingers.

They were _so_ right.

Unless it was a combination of tongues _and_ fingers, inside and out, making her squirm and pant on the futon. Her belly grew tight with anticipation, limbs trembling and core getting slicker.

"Enough," she panted at last, tugging on her two lovers' heads to pull them up. "Fill me already, one of you!"

Kisuke and Tessai sat up, their hair mussed and lips shiny. They looked at her and at each other, uncertain frowns chasing away their triumphant smiles. Then Tessai took a deep breath and nodded.

"You first, Urahara-dono. Please," he said, his voice hoarse.

Kisuke's gaze darted to Yoruichi and then back to Tessai, lips forming an eager, nervous smile.

"Tessai-san, are you sure...?"

Yoruichi groaned, her body quivering and ready. Quickly, she traced a contraceptive _kidou_ spell over her abdomen.

"Boys, I don't care _who_ gets me first, just hurry up!"

Kisuke and Tessai shared a grin at that and shrugged off their bathrobes in unison, the latter also shifting out of the way.

Kisuke was more than ready himself, his erection proud and jutting, topped with a rosy, glistening head. Ignoring the admiring looks from both his lovers, he moved between Yoruichi's spread thighs and crouched over her.

He kissed her first, slow and sweet and deep, and then he straightened up and positioned himself between her nether lips. Slowly, he started pushing into her.

Yoruichi sucked in a deep breath at the delicious stretch, eyes half lidded and back arching. This may be Kisuke's first time, but his watchful gaze - taking in her every reaction and learning every second - and his superb control belied that fact. He didn't rush nor did he pause until he was fully sheathed within her, and then he stared down at her, eyes bright and chest heaving.

"Yoruichi-san," he breathed, closing his eyes briefly on a little shiver before smiling down at her, gaze hot and adoring. "You feel so good."

"Oh? Sorry you didn't get me sooner?" Yoruichi couldn't help teasing, slanting a smile at Tessai to include him.

They both nodded fervently.

"Oh yes - ahh!" Kisuke broke off, breath hitching when Yoruichi rolled her hips, drawing him even deeper, knees rising to hug his hips.

"Then get on with it," she urged, back arching again when he pulled out halfway before surging in once more.

It didn't take more than a few thrusts for them to find a smooth rhythm, Kisuke bending over her, arms straight at first, and then bent with his forearms resting on the futon on either side of her head.

Yoruichi stared into those intense grey eyes, dark with passion as the tension continued to build inside her. He was moving faster now, hips angled to stroke her sensitive bud with each thrust. Rejoicing at how intuitive he was, she gripped his forearms and let herself go, crying out as her body spasmed and convulsed around his.

Kisuke sped up, his thrusts getting more and more erratic until he groaned and she felt warmth flooding her insides. Then he slumped onto her, their bodies still joined, face buried in her neck and hot breath buffeting her skin.

Laughing softly, body still quivering with aftershocks of pleasure, Yoruichi ran her palms down his damp back. She reached out a hand to Tessai who took it and pressed a fervent kiss to her fingertips, eyes dark, and erection stiff and leaking.

"That was wonderful to see, Yoruichi-dono, Urahara-dono," he declared.

"Thank you. But it's even more wonderful to experience, Tessai-san," Kisuke said, still somewhat breathless as he straightened up and carefully slid out from Yoruichi.

\- o -

It was indeed.

At Yoruichi's urging, Tessai stretched out on the other futon, hastily snagging a corner of his discarded bathrobe to wipe his fogged up glasses. His breath caught in his throat when Yoruichi straddled his hips, a naked goddess with a mischievous smile on her lips.

Without a word, she started to take him inside herself, her body tight and hot and wet. Tessai had almost come earlier when he witnessed his two lovers peaking in each other' arms. He felt that same tightening in his body now with Kisuke watching them, his gaze hot and adoring.

Swallowing hard, Tessai breathed a prayer to hold out, especially when Yoruichi was finally sitting directly on him, pert buttocks pressed against his thighs.

"Ready?" She said and smiled down at him, eyes twinkling.

Licking his lips, Tessai started to shake his head, but she was already moving and he choked instead, clamping down hard on the instinctive urge to buck his hips upward. Yoruichi leaned forward and he cupped her breasts with shaking hands, teasing the puckered, reddened nipples with calloused thumbs.

"Oh, Tessai," Yoruichi purred. She leaned down to kiss him, hips stilling until Tessai groaned a protest into her mouth. Then she laughed, straightened up and started moving again, faster this time.

Tessai's entire body snapped rigid at once, legs straight and tendons standing out in his neck, muscles bunched and trembling. Sweat ran down his temples and he breathed in harsh pants as he fisted his hands in the sheets.

Yoruichi's eyes gleamed with approval for his fortitude as she impaled herself again and again, enjoying every inch he had to offer. She glanced sideways at Kisuke, sitting _seiza_ pose on the other futon with one hand curled around his still hard length.

"You'll just have to await your turn, Kisuke," she teased with a coy smile.

"A-apologies for making your w-wait, Urahara-dono," Tessai panted out, voice shaking.

Kisuke just grinned at him, grey eyes bright with mischief. He bent forward and before his two lovers could say anything, closed his mouth over Tessai's nearest nipple and sucked.

 _Hard._

Tessai's concentration shattered at once, hips jerking up in response, pulling a gasp from Yoruichi. He choked out a warning.

"Yoruichi-dono... I can't..."

Releasing his hold on the futon, he grabbed her hips, pulling her down as he bucked his hips up.

Yoruichi's cry of surprise merged with Tessai's shout as he came, body shaking with the force of his orgasm. He thrust upward again and again, mouth open and eyes squeezed shut, emptying himself inside his goddess before his arms fell back to the futon.

\- o -

With a soft smile, Yoruichi leaned down to kiss Tessai before straightening up again. She arched an eyebrow at Kisuke, who looked both triumphant and awed.

"You couldn't wait, could you?"

"No, I couldn't," he replied. "My apologies, Tessai-san."

Dazed eyes blinked open and Tessai looked from Kisuke to Yoruichi.

"Yoruichi-dono, forgive me. I didn't... you didn't..."

"Come again?" Yoruichi completed his question with an innocent look that made him blush harder.

"Yoruichi-dono!"

Yoruichi gave a merry laugh.

"Don't worry. It's Kisuke's fault so let him finish the job," she said and swung her knee over. She kissed Tessai again before lying on her back beside him, parting her thighs and smiling up at Kisuke.

"Well?"

"Your wish is my command, Yoruichi-san."

Without hesitation, Kisuke moved to kneel between her legs. He placed the head of his weeping erection between her plump nether lips, glistening now from his and Tessai's emissions, and slid home.

" _Kami_ ," he groaned. And just like Tessai, who was now sitting up to enjoy the show, his expression was that of one who had died again and gone to heaven.

He leaned over Yoruichi, palms flat on either side of her head, looking down at her with a focus she found exhilarating. Then he started moving, deep and sure strokes that made her belly quiver.

"Oh!" She clutched at his biceps, knees going up to hug his hips. "Kisuke, where did you learn...?"

"My imagination, Yoruichi-san," he replied, words jerky. "Purely that and nothing more."

"If you say so."

"I do indeed."

Kisuke's grin faded as his movements quickened, going from smooth to erratic, the flush on his cheeks deepening. He leaned down, hands sweeping under Yoruichi's back, palms up and fingers closing on her shoulders. Anchoring her in place, he picked up the pace.

"Ah! " Yoruichi tipped her head back and stretched her thighs wider, allowing his body to rub against that very sensitive part of her.

Conscious of Tessai's eager gaze upon them, Yoruichi found herself peaking in seconds, crying out as her body convulsed for the second time. Kisuke didn't let up, thrusting even faster and harder until he came as well, calling out her name in a triumphant shout.

When he collapsed onto her for the second time, she cradled him close and felt Tessai shifting closer as well, bending down to kiss her forehead and then Kisuke's hair. Yoruichi curled an arm around their damp necks.

"My two boys," she murmured. "You've always been mine."

Tessai raised his head at that and nodded.

"Always yours, Yoruichi-dono," he vowed and looked at Urahara. "And always yours, Urahara-dono."

"Forever yours as well." Kisuke sat up and kissed both of them soundly.

Tessai dissolved the sound blocking barrier and the trio made themselves comfortable on the rumpled sheets with their arms and legs tangled together.

"Goodnight, you two," Yoruichi said softly, her body replete and humming in contentment.

Now that she knew how passionate they both were, she was looking forward to seeing how they would explore each other's bodies. Now _that_ would be fun to watch!

\- Story End -

 **A/N:** Thank you for reading! Please leave a review if you enjoyed it, would love to hear from you :)


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